What needs to burn away in order for you to receive more PLEASURE.
This month’s theme is Receiving Pleasure.
There are many luscious ways to receive pleasure. A HUGE way I receive pleasure is by knowing, trusting and speaking my truth. Through connecting to the sacred infinite spaciousness inside that is mine, just for me! I am filled with compassion, love, clarity, acceptance, grace, peace. Everything I need. It is deeply nourishing and pleasurable. For me it is the easiest place to be and I have had to fight hard to find my way there. It is always work to defend and protect it.
I wanted to share about my journey with the Trauma pattern of Fawning. This pattern was what needed to evolve in order for me to receive from the pleasure of my own energy, vitality, freedom, and sovereignty. Fawning is a Trauma response for so many people. I wasn’t aware of the name of this trauma response pattern until 2020. For decades I suffered; shaming and blaming myself for an ingrained pattern of pleasing, suppression and hiding. Harshly misunderstanding the protection and wisdom my body learned at such a young age to stay safe.
The most well-known responses to trauma are the fight, flight, or freeze responses. However, there is a fourth response, the fawn response. The fawn response involves immediately moving to try to please a person to avoid any conflict. It was the trauma response my body chose for me in order to keep me safe and developed due to childhood trauma and sexual trauma.
From a young age I felt alive in my body. I loved how my body moved and how it felt. I was compassionate, curious, loving and trusting. This was my natural state. I learned very early how to create an inner sanctuary to trust my own inner feelings, intuitions, guidance and experiences as ABSOLUTE TRUTH. To let those guide me, inform me, teach me. My parents were very childlike themselves and collapsed into their own wounds often leaving me to navigate the world.
At age 5, my parents divorced and by age 7 my father remarried a narcissistic and abusive woman who already had an equally cruel daughter. My life took an unexpected nose dive as I would spend the next 4 decades locked in a Fawn Response.
I went into a fawn-like response to attempt to avoid the abuse by being a pleaser. I preemptively succeeded in appeasing the abusers (my step mom and step sister) by agreeing and doing whatever they wanted. Also by ignoring my personal feelings and desires and did anything and everything to try to prevent the abuse. Over time, the fawn response became an injurious ingrained pattern. Which kept me locked inside in ways that felt unnatural, frozen, stuck, strange, and hijacked. Even though I knew my truth, value and wisdom I often couldn’t act on it during crucial times and I didn’t understand why.
As the fawn response is developed early in childhood, it can be difficult for someone to recognize it is occurring. However, there are some key signs that the fawn response is in use when:
Even though I have an LCSW and have done decades of deep work with therapists, practitioners and healers I NEVER heard of this Trauma Response until I started working with a therapist specializing in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy in 2020. An integrative approach which helps the body to heal from unresolved trauma, stress and emotional pain. I sing a river of gratitude to my angelic Therapist now for helping me unlock my body from these suppressive patterns of Fawning into Freedom.
I now have FULL ACCESS to my power, my bliss, my expressions, my feelings, my energy, my vitality.
Where are you knotted up in relationships with people, places or things that are no longer necessary to be connected to? Your Vital Energy is ready to come back to you. Our Radiant Circle classes are potent ways to burn away what is ready to go and to revitalize the part of us that is eternal.
Schedule for January
Ruby Circle January 10 @ 12:30 pm cst. Q & A
Radiant Circle January 11 @ 11 am cst
Ruby Circle January 24 @ 12 pm cst Energy Healing
Sign up at https://monicahagerty.com/radiant-circle/
at either level $44/month – Radiant Circle
$88/ month – Ruby Circle
Ruby Circle members get access to all classes and are benefitting from a super intimate group during this time getting my personal attention at a fraction of my coaching rates!!
Please give some love to my Facebook page:
https://fb.me/MonicaHagertyLCSW
